Zombie Survival Guide: Vongola Version
by Tenpouin Yuuki
Summary: Ways to survive a Zombie Apocalypse-KHR Style. HUMOR/CRACK/RANDOMNESS/OOC
1. 5 Ways to Survive a Zombie Attack

**Disclaimer:** You know what I mean!

**Author's Note:** Inspired by **Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide** book.

**Warning: **Random thoughts, Humor/CRACK/LOT'S OF OOCNESS..

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**Zombie 'Crack' Apocalypse **

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_**Have you ever wonder if zombies were real in KHR world? How will they able to survive? hmmm.. Let's see.**_

_**5 ways to survive the Zombie attack**_

**Step 1: Denial- **

Hibari: Herbivores,Those are not zombies.

**Step 2: Anger**

Gokudera: STOP saying they're zombies, God damn it! They're not zombies!

**Step 3: Bargaining.**

Yamamoto: Maa~maa~! maybe they've just got rabies or something. There has to be a perfectly rational explanation to this.

**Step 4: Depression**

Mukuro: Kufufufu~ it doesn't matter what those things are. We're never going to get out of here.

**Step 5: Acceptance**

Tsuna: HIIEEEE~! THOSE ARE ZOMBIES!

And with that infamous shriek, all hell is about to break loose.

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**Next**: 6 Signs You're About to be Attacked by Zombies.


	2. 6 signs your about to be attacked

**Disclaimer:** You know what I mean!

**Author's Note:** Inspired by **Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide** book.

**Warning:**Random thoughts, Humor/CRACK/LOT'S OF OOCNESS..

I noticed that there were quite some KHR fanfics about zombies, either there were only a few survivors or too much drama, so I thought, hey what if I make a survival guide note so that many will live throughout this zombie-infested world? So here it goes...:D

Have you watched the **Episode 7 of Code Breaker**? OMG**! Tenpouin Yuuki** in the opening!

**K Project Episode 7 : DAMN YOU MUNAKATA! HOW DARE YOU TO RUIN YATOGAMI'S PRETTY FACE!**

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**Zombie 'Crack' Apocalypse**

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Have you ever wonder if zombies were real in KHR world? How will they able to survive? hmmm.. Let's see.

(Knowing the insanity that surrounds the characters, I bet that the zombies are the ones who'll need to survive:p)

**Recap:**

**5 ways to survive the zombie attack **

When the zombies do attack, be prepared to go through the above stages of grief as you learn to cope. But you should probably do it fast.  
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**6 Signs You're About to be Attacked by Zombies**

Now the zombies are coming, and if you haven't got a plan then you might as well just lie down and let those maggot-filled pus-sacks take you right now. Surviving the zombie apocalypse is serious business, and the only way you're going to do it is if you're prepared.

**Sign 6. first instinct during a crisis is to go to your mall**

Imagine a horde of zombies swarming down the main street of your town. Where do you go? If the nearest military base comes to mind, you're probably OK. But make sure that you're not going to Namimori or else Hibari will bite you to death using his tonfas. But it's better to be bitten to death than ending up as an undead appetizer.

**Sign 5.****You've just said or done something that would make it ironic if zombies attacked.**

Don't be fooled by their barely functioning nervous system and shambling gait, Zombies have a devastating sense of timing. And if there's one thing they appreciate more than brains, it's _dramatic irony_. So if you're walking through a graveyard with a certain cow who's scared of the undead, you should avoid putting on your most sarcastic spooky voice and saying "They're coming to get you, Lambo." For whatever reason, sarcasm sounds like a dinner bell to zombies. But make sure to have atleast grape-flavored candy for Lambo if you don't want to end up Ten-Years Later, alone.

Zombies are incredibly patient. You can go your whole life avoiding any zombie irony-never dressing up as a zombie on Halloween, skipping all the "dead people are dead and never coming back" parties your friends throw every Easter. No rush. Take as long as you want. Zombies aren't busy. They'll just be chilling out under a thin dusting of suspiciously loose soil. And the second you slip up and do something that would make a zombie attack the least bit ironic, like say, starring in a zombie movie, they _will_be on your ass with a quickness. But don't run with Dino or Tsuna or you'll be dead in a matter of seconds.

**Sign 4. The hospital you just woke up in is completely empty.****  
**  
If you find yourself falling into either of the above groups, you should probably avoid spending time unconscious in a hospital bed. In a zombie apocalypse, nothing's more embarrassing than walking around asking stuff like, "What the fuck happened to the world?" The people who've had to deal with this shit for weeks will just roll their eyes, and generally act like you're the stupidest son of a bitch in town not mumbling the word "Braaaaains."

That's because the deeper people get into a zombie crisis, the more everyone starts acting like total assholes. So skipping two weeks of consciousness doesn't make for the smoothest of transitions. Your new friends got to ease their way into the apocalypse, whereas you just rolled out of a warm bed, directly into a frigid pool of cannibalism and back-ass. So I suggest that you join Ryohei's boxing Club to be able to have an EXTREME stamina and strength in running for your life.

**Sign 3.**** You are doing something unorthodox in a graveyard.**

Most people like to do their dancing and fighting in night clubs, and save the graveyard for more appropriate activities like being dead. But you don't play by those rules, and well, neither do zombies. Knowing Hibari and Mukuro.

Listen, you just never know when, as you're taking a run-of-the-mill naked dance break in the middle of a graveyard, radioactive toxins will rain down and cause the people in the graves to rise up and begin shouting "Braaaains!".

**Sign 2. never use the word "zombie."**

Every single zombie movie ever! Bet you don't know that? Would you mind if instead you hear "kufufufu~", "uishishishi", "kamikorosu", "VOIIII" or simply "HIIIEEE". nope. I just prefer "Zombie"

**Sign 1. girlfriend, pet, brother or parents are zombies.**

You know, I really shouldn't need to explain this one. Imagine Reborn being a Zombie?.


End file.
